Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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