He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
