just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
