I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
