Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
