i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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