i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you never un-have a 4some
You were trust falling into bushes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
