I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize