it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
