Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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