Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
