Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
