Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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