I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
