with your own penis?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize