school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize