lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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