just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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