Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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