We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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