Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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