So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
