He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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