maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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