i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize