I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
