i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He told me they were just razor bumps!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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