so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
