She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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