Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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