Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
