Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
