I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
