My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
