If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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