he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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