She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
