He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize