I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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