yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
