We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
