You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
