i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
