fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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