Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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