Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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