Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
