There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
