lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
