Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
