I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
