I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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