he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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