He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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