Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
