I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
