just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
