I think my vagina is haunted
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
