I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
