i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
