summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
