Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
