I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
