Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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